I have just come back from the Post Office.  As I walked back towards the Cross I noticed a group of huge women in extra extra large high visibility jackets outside Waterstones.  I stopped to stare.  I noticed that the women had a length of cord with pairs of pre-prepared nooses at intervals along its length.  I soon made out a number of children corralled like tiny sheep among monstrous sheepdogs.  Each child was fed a noose and instructed to wrap it around their wrist.  I imagined a sharp tug from one of the monstrous curs would secure the children safely.  I overheard one of the children being asked what book he had bought and realised this was a dangerous outing.  A trip to a bookshop.

While I paused, gawping, I noticed people looking past me into the street behind.  I turned to see what I can only assume was the town council in full regalia led by two shiny policemen.  I was too stunned to take any pictures but I think that some of the people had brass helmets and I’m sure they all had chains of office and cloaks or capes.

The children were pointed in the direction of the parade and waved with their free hands.